This track of “Becoming More of Who You Are” involves stacking three key elements:
So far I have shown you how to stack two of the three elements.
Let’s recap the stacking of those first two elements:
Step 1: Find and focus on an interest.
Step 2: Apply tools and family connections to your child’s interest.
Here’s an example of stacking two of the elements:
Your daughter is showing some serious interest and talent in drawing, and you’ve pulled in Grandma’s tools and expertise to help her grow. Grandma shares her paint AND her knowledge of how to mix colors correctly.
Energy is building up.
Your son is developing his story-writing abilities now that you have given him ample time with his own journal and access to your brother’s Instagram account portraying his life on a boat. You smile at his latest Instagram comment:
“What happened to that manatee you saw, Uncle Mark!?”
Next example: You’ve convinced your spouse that your 14-year-old just might be old enough to learn how to use the expensive microscope he’s been eyeing. Suddenly “ocular lens” and “eyepiece tubes” discussions replace afternoon arguments over the lost Minecraft controller.
So far, so good.
But you need one more thing to flip the level of interest all the way up to PASSION level.
It’s time for your child to make his own dramatic stage right entrance and start applying his personal talent to boost his family’s uniqueness, a.k.a. your family culture.
Your child needs to be able to deliver real VALUE to someone else.
That is the third and final element to stack on top of the interests and tools.
Your child needs to produce something that is actually useful with her tools so that she is serving a purpose with her skillset.
The most desirable place for a young teenager is to produce value is within the social context of your family’s uniqueness.
Providing value to your family will be the antidote to almost all of the following problems in your young person’s life:
- Feelings of disconnect with mom and dad.
- Feelings of not being understood and appreciated.
- Feelings of discouragement because he’s not sure if all the work done now will make any difference to others.
- Feelings of overwhelm and paralysis because of not knowing where to get started.
- Feelings of being useless because of not having anything of real value to contribute to the world.
Your family’s uniqueness becomes a critical factor for delivering believable value at a young age.
Here are some examples of how a young person can deliver value to his family:
If your family regularly vacations at the same location, have your daughter use her drawing skills to portray those happy moments at the lake. She can create family mugs for Christmas. That is value made for others.
Your son can interview his uncle and, if his story-telling is more intriguing when told from the point of view of an animal, have him write what happened to the manatee after Uncle Mark went back into the boat cabin to relax. The entire family will enjoy new stories at the next get-together. That is value made for others.
A boy. A microscope. Some over the counter chemical tests. Maybe he brings value by looking at garden dirt to better improve the family garden. This is also value made for others.
Your child’s new talent developing under your roof will be best expressed through your child’s love and support of the family. They will be adding to the vibes of “good family times had here.”
Instead of having to wait till he is old enough or responsible enough to be on his own, your son or daughter can explode now with intense personal motivation.
High end skills will come later. When starting off, the family vision is where all the passion extraction is going to happen.
Delivering value to the family works very well for young teens.
There is always an aspect of your family culture that could be enhanced.
Parent celebration time! Get excited about your family again as you recognize its power to push your child forward with an opportunity to bring value.
Here is what you can toast to with your spouse:
- Your teenager’s talent will increase your family’s happiness
- You’re going to find ways for your son or daughter to contribute to family life
- Your teen will have intense personal motivation, expanding a sense of self-worth
- Opportunities for more growth development will drop into your teens lap
- Friends and family members will be impressed, and feelings of “am I doing this parenting thing correctly?” will diminish
He’s growing up! The pure nurture phase of his youth is over. He is headed to adulthood. Things are about to get exciting.
Need more? Keep reading… https://parenttheirpassion.com/how-to-identify-family-culture/